


One piece crack

by Rainripple



Category: One Piece
Genre: Crack, Deliberate use of bad grammar/spellings, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7281817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainripple/pseuds/Rainripple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starting from Summer 2015, I have made it a habit to write a quick warmup piece at the end of the exam period each year. Pieces are deliberately not edited so it's original form is maintained. All are written within 10 minutes of non-stop typing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2015

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a crackship my brother keeps trying to push onto me for some reason and it's also written in a style that is as awful as his. Enjoy?

Toraoooo let me pepper yo anus said Luffy

Law said no Luffy go suck your own dick I’m not putting up with your bullshit anymore

Then garp-san came along and said move aside bitch I’m gonna show you how you really pepper someone’s anus  
Law come hired you cock sucking bitch and let me pepper yo anoose he said as he jumped onto Law and tried to grope him

Never you fool Law said as he called out a ROOM and whooshed the fuck out of there

Hah you old dude even you suck at peppering Laws anoose Luffy said before Gapr beat the fuck out of him

“Shut it silly young boy Garp” said before he stormed off

“Sengoku let me pepper yo goats anoose”  
“Never” the old Buddha said “ anyway poopface I’m eating you cookies.”

~~~

Let me love you Law said garp as he handed over a bundle opf flowers

Wait a fucking second, this is a trick isn’t it Law said. “ fuck you bitch I’m moving my sorry ass out of here”  
“What the fuck are you sorry for you sick fucker let me do something with you” garp said  
“Move bitch get out of tha way” Law said as he took out a pair of sunglasses “Thug life yo”

And then WHOOSH CORA-SAN CAME OUT OF THE HEAVENS AND SMACKED law down

“THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU DOING YOU LITTLE FUCK TARD NO THUG KANGUAGE FOR YOU” CORASAN SHOUTED

“CORASAN WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING” LAW SAID “ BUT WAIT EHY AM I SHOUTING, WHY IS THE NARRATOR SHOUTING WHY IS EVERYTHING SHOUTING” HE TURNED TO FACE THE FOURTH WALL “NARRATOR CAN YOU FUCKING TURN YOUR CAPSLOCK OFF.” He waited a little before sighing “thank fucking god”

“YOOOOOO BITHC GARP MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY LAW IS MY FUCKBOY” DOFLAMINGO SAID AS HE WHOOSHED OUT OF THE SKY

“Not again…” Law said as he shook his head. “Not the Doffy again, at least the CAPSLOCK is off” oh fucking Jesus Christ fuck the auto correct it just changed CAPSLOCK to capitals. Fuck this shit

Garp and Doffy had a CAPSLOCK fight then, shouting insults at each other’s asses. Than they started to throw things, Garp three Sengokus goat and Doffy threw His creepy fishoby son thing

Law said “ I had enough of this bullshit I’m leaving”

“Hold the fuck there Law stop using that thug language Corazon said as he jumped Law

"Wait Corazon law is my boy Gapr and Doffy said in unison.


	2. 2016

Sengoku’s goat was eating his sense when Garp WHOOSHED OUT OF THE ROOM  
“Sengokuuuuuuuuuu why is your damn goat eating my senbeissss???!!!??””

Sengoku replied “I DON’T FUCKING KNOW GARP, I’M STILL GRIEVING BECASUSE MY SON GOT KILLED BY HIS BROTHER AND HIS SON BECAME A PIRATE DAMMIT WHY DID I HAVE TO JOIN THE ‘MY GRANDSON IS A PIRATE’ CLUB WAHHHHH”

Garp said “well damn sengoku you’re pretty loud”

“Well shut up you wouldn’t stop bawling after Ace died huh?”

“YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT MATE”

ALRIGHT THEN MEET ME DOWN IN THE LUNCHALL, I’LL SHOW YOU WHO CSAN DRINK THE MOST SAKE

~~

Helmexpo doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s getting haunted by ghosts uhhh one of them is this weird hip woman called Belle-mere and then theres another one called Rocinante who keeps tripping over himself for some reason. Helmet definitely thinks he’s pretty dumb. Belle-mere keeps blowing smoke in his face. he doesn’t like it.

“COBYYYY HELLPP MEEEEE>’’

why hew why why why does this happen to me jfc

why are you bothering me I’m usually the one who gets ignored you weirdos ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

~~

Fujotiora ate his noodles and thoughts “Well shit they’r not cold enough”

So he poured Ice over them

“FUJITROA WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK” SENGOKU SAID FLYING INTO THE HALL “WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU POUR ICE OVER NOODLES”

“i want them cold you bitch”

“You fucker, don’t you know that hot noodles are the best?”

“YOU WANNA FIGHT MATE”

“HELL YEAH”

and then oh shit Akainu came into the room

“SENGOKU SHUT YOUR ASS UP. AND FUJITORA GET OUT.”

“NO”

~~

by the time Garp had finally got down to the lunch hall ( he had to stop on his way to help exorcise the ghosts haunting Helmeppo - jk he didn’t he just sent them off with Sengokus goat hehehehehe), fujitora,akin and sengoku were all fighting with each other.

would he stand out? HELL NO

HEFUCKING LEAPED IN TOO SO ALL THESE FUCKING OLD DUDES WERE HAVONG A FUCKING BRAWL IN THE FLOOOR

AOKIJI LOOKED IN AND THOUGHT “ARARA WHY CAN’T THEY CHILL AND LET IT GO.”

HE PATTED HIS PENGUIN AND WALKED AWAY, UN BEKNOWNST TO BORSALINO WATCHING HIM FROM BEHIND A POLE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING STALKER.

~~

Coby is stuck in the middle of nowhere. serious, he stuck in the middle of nowhere. gap would have come to help him but he was still too busy fighting the other old men.

Coby be like “Luffy wha the fuck do I do, helpes me”

oh no oh no oh no

his anxiety has shot out of the roof.


End file.
